cupidfail: January 2009

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Coming soon to a cinema near you...

Brokeback Mountain, starring Boris Johnson.

If you listen very very closely...

...you can hear the corset saying "Help me! Help meeeee!"

WLTM: Someone to go with for walks in the park..

or someone who will live me, in the park, must have own box

"a)i dont read books"

"Im nearly finished trainning to become an electrician"

The person I'd least like to sit next to at a dinner party!

"My favourite books: Books on relationships, spirituality and investment." Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die shave die.

You Should Message Me If... you're willing to forget where we met when people ask

I'm thinking that targeting yourself at people with a sense of shame is going to be a little bit limiting, mate.

Attention: uggers

Using the lowest resolution photo of yourself possible does not count as making the best of a bad lot.

Oh yeah baby, let me slide my manmeat between those sexy sexy pixels!

Smile! It will definitely never happen!

"please dont judge me on my appearance cause it is incredibly shallow and rude"

...and Orville?

Why does everyone trying to get an internet date bang on about cuddles all the time? Maybe if you just tried some good old-fashioned oral sex you wouldn't have to pick a partner from a load of internet reprobates?